Hmmm......

Sometimes things in life get very complicated. It makes them so unbearable and confusing that there is just now way to really know what is going on. You can make a decision about something and then just when you think all is the way that is should be, something is thrown into the mix that just makes it all a mess. Sometimes, when you try to figure out what is going on now, it just makes things even more confusing. 

One thing that drives me into confusion is texting. When people text there is really no way to know what the emotion is behind it. It could be completely bored, flirty, mad, annoyed, etc. and there would be no way to really know what emotion they were trying to get across. This really makes an already confusing friendship even more confusing. If there was a way to really know what any one person thought at any given moment, it would be nice but it would also be a violation of privacy. :) 

So today for a branch activity, they played mud volleyball. Because I am not a mud person, I decided to watch. It was so funny watching everyone fall in the mud. They were covered in mud from head to toe! It was so funny! I stayed clean, but did get really sun-burnt (which I just happen to be prone to... ). 

Well, I am signing off for now...    

UGH!!

So, since Saturday, I have had this horrible stomach ache which eventually leads to a headache. I have yet to figure out what is wrong. On top of all of this, this morning I woke up with a sore throat. This is just horrible! I don't know why I don't feel good which makes everything like 10 times worse! I keep telling myself that it will all get better and that I will feel better soon but really, I am beginning to think that this is NEVER going to end. 

Anyway... just needed to vent! 

Signing off!

Finding me!

Some days I think things in my life are great and others seem like such a mess. This weekend was one of those mess weekends. I really haven't been feeling myself lately and so when I am around people I think I have to be this person they think I am. This makes it really difficult to be myself. 

Today I went to FHE and still wasn't really feeling like myself. I played a long just trying to be the person that I thought she be there. Well, after playing in the dirt and getting bugs on me (which is NOT something that I would do by anymeans!) I decided that I was finished cleaning. So because I felt that I needed to still help out, I found something that was a little more like me and less playing in the dirt. Now I still don't feel all the way myself but I am feeling better. 

I think that I was trying to let people determine who I am. I really need to not let that happen any more. I am trying to turn my focus onto something that doesn't have anything to do with some people. I have let myself get so involved in what is going on in the Branch and in my brothers life that I have forgotten to take time for myself. Yes, I have a lot of time to myself but I haven't been doing the things that I love during that time! I think that is one way that I will find myself and truly get back to being the person that I am! 

Signing off for now! 

Confusion

So, do you ever feel like your whole life is just one big mess of confusion? I have decided that really, that is all life is. I honestly believe that we have no reason to know what anybody else thinks. I mean, there are somethings that I will never figure out but others I feel like I should be able to understand, but I am always at a loss. 

I will never be able to understand boys. That is just a given, but I do think that I should be able to understand what my mom thinks. I try to understand why she does certain things and why she says certain things but I have not been able to understand it. Today for example, I just felt like I was completely wrong in all of my understandings. I just didn't understand why she would say, "When we are done with this..." but when we got done fixing her posters, she sat down to watch the Olympics. After talking with her about it, she simply didn't hear me. So now that is understandable. 

I still think that there will always be things that I am simply confused about. I don't like it but I guess that no matter how hard I try, I will always be confused about something. 

So when I decided to start this blog, I didn't realize how valuable it really would be to me. This blog has given me a place to vent without having to give the details of anything. It has been a great stress reliever for me! Yeah!! :) 

Oh how scary!

So, my mom and my sister went down to Utah this morning to catch a flight to Denver to see my grandma. Well, all was going well until they hit Ogden. In Ogden, my mom noticed that her car seemed to be running a little high. The RPMs were running at 2 and usually on her car they run at about 1 1/2. She didn't really think much of it until later. When they took the exit to go to my aunt's house, the car seemed like it was going to die. She tried to keep it going by giving it a little gas. At a stop light, the car almost didn't continue to drive. She pulled into a gas station to let the car cool-down. When she started the car again, it started but still didn't sound all that great. My mom drove down the road a ways and the car almost died again. She decided to pull off into this LDS church building and now the car won't start. It makes me so nervous. I can't believe that my mom could be stuck in Utah and I have no way to help them. 

Hopefully all turns out positive! 

............................. new post: 8/16/08 ..............................................

So, my mom made it back from Utah. We still don't know what is wrong with the car but at least they are home and safe! Hopefully they (my dad and the mechanic) find out what is going on with the car! :)

Crazy Day

So the hope of getting my own place has become obsolete. My brother's girlfriend has decided to go to ISU and live in Pocatello. Now, I knew that it was only a maybe of getting an apartment but I really hoped that it would be possible. Oh well. When the time comes, I will get my own place and it will be AWESOME!

So today, I went and saw Swing Vote with my friend Andrea. It was a good movie but so not what I thought it was going to be like. The previews made it seem like it was going to be so funny, but it turned out to be more of a drama instead of a comedy. 

So, I like meeting new people. Yeah, it may be hard at first but once you actually get into it and hang out with those people, it is so surprising how much you actually have in common with those people. Like today, for example, I had the opportunity of making a new friend. By time I had to leave, I had discovered that we had so much in common. It was awesome!

Another thing that I have decided is that watching the Olympics can get really, really boring. I mean, at some points it is really neat to watch but other times I find it REALLY boring. I enjoy the gymnastics and the swimming but I guess some of the other events I just don't enjoy. That really could be because I don't understand how they are scored and a couple of them remind me of times that were not so happy. But I guess all-in-all, I really do enjoy watching the Olympics. 

Well, that is all for now! 

Housing

So, my brother's girlfriend and I are going to begin looking for an apartment in Idaho Falls. I am really excited because I am ready to live on my own again. The only problem that we are finding is the lack of money. I am hoping that we will be able to find something that will be within our budget. 

I am thinking that one cool thing about living away from home is the fact that I wouldn't have to deal with the way my family does things. I mean, I love my family, really I do, but at the same time, it would be nice to be able to do things the way that I want. My dad likes to watch a ton of TV. Sometimes, I really just want the TV to be turned off. I mean, come on there really isn't all that much on TV. Yeah, it is cool to watch the Olympics but other than that, there is just a bunch of junk on. I really don't understand how a person could watch TV all the time. That is really all he does. It is so annoying. 

Anyway, this isn't a blog about my dad for if it was, it would be never ending. I am really excited to be looking for a place of (sorta) my own. I think it will be a blast! :)

Signing off for now!

Hello!

I decided that I wanted to create my very own blog, but I wasn't sure what to put into it. I have decided that this will be just a random place that I can put down the things that I am doing from time to time. 

So today has been a normal day for me. I woke up this morning and went to work. While I was working, somebody looking for a job came in to turn in his application. I found it extremely funny because he knocked on the door. Now, to some this may not be funny because it is normal to knock on a door but at my job, it is so uncommon for people to knock on the door that it scares me every time. I guess that I just found it weird that someone would knock on the door. :) After I got off work, I went to lunch with my oldest friend. We became friends when I was like 3 or 4 years old. Her grandparents lived across the street and I remember going to preschool with her and even seeing my first "pink panther" car with her. He grandpa was working on the car and we got ride in it. It was a dream come true for me (at the time). Even though we grew up in different places and really are different people, it was still really cool to see a friend that I haven't seen for years! 

Now, I am sitting here watching my sister play with her friends and remembering the times when I was little. It is amazing how fast the time goes. I mean really, we can all remember the days of playing house with our friends. I can't believe how fast it all goes! It is just insane! :)

Well, I am going to sign off for now!